Tell Tale Knife
by Regina Realson
Summary: A killer attempts to murder a certain someone... but soon chaos erupts. Please read and review...
1. The Deed

**A/N- This story's title and idea are taken from Edgar Allen Poe's masterpiece the **_**Tell Tale Heart**_**. I am simply writing fan fiction. Please enjoy and if yo**u** enjoyed this simple story- common logic would say to click on the button at the bottom of this page and submit a review- Also this takes place in the second movie, however…**

**Puss-In-Boots is there**

**King Harold is not a frog (yet)**

**Fiona and Shrek are both happily ogres**

**Any questions? Write me and I'll answer them. However the story does kind of explain itself as it goes along so… without out further ado…**

_The Tell Tale Knife_

_By: Regina Realson_

Chapter 1- The Deed

**The dull creak of the floorboards under the silently sneaking feet of the man echoed though the large hallway. Silence issued once more as the cloaked figure paused. The dimly lit hallway cast an eerie shadow on the figure's face and the long dagger he held upright in his hand.**

**With more care than was needed, the man inched forward again. His course steered him directly toward the bedroom door of a certain royal couple. Steadily opening the double doors of the bedroom, he slipped in. The darkness hid him well as he waited by the door. No sound came from the canopy bed. Its occupants were asleep; unaware that only patience kept them alive.**

**The great clock in the center of the city struck midnight and the killer stepped forward knowing that is was then time. His hand rose and fell; digging the cold blade of the knife deep into the heart of a large shape on the left side of the bed. It was done.**

**The murderer hurried from the room. His footsteps made no sound as he reentered his own bedchamber and cast off his dark hood. Carefully removing the dark gloves he wore and the shirt and pants, the killer slipped into a blue robe and sighed. All he had now to do was hid the offending knife. Only one kind of knife was strong enough to pierce ogre skin so quickly; and if it was found in his possession; he doubted that anything could save him.**

**But where to hide it? Simple question, he thought looking around the spacious room. Under his bed? No, to obvious. How about under the rug? Perfect! But how was he going to get it under there? Never mind. It looked to the killer that he was done for. **

**Suddenly just as all hope had left him, he remembered a secret safe in the back of his closet where his will and crown were kept. Surely no one would look there. Without hesitation, the killer hurried over to the closet and stuffed the clothes and the knife into the safe, locking it with a combination only he and his wife knew.**

**Sighing with relief and his heart pounding in his chest, the killer slowly made his way to the deep green canopy bed and climbed in. His wife was fast asleep and only the mass of her golden hair could be seen on the pillow. The rest of her was buried beneath the covers. Sleep did not come easily to him, but slowly he slipped off into a place that all good kings go when they sleep. **


	2. Bolsters

**A/N- I am certain that you figured out who was the killer in the last chapter. If you did not- well then…you will need to read it again. Again Edgar Allen Poe owns the idea for the **_**Tell Tale Heart **_**and DreamWorks Pictures owns Shrek… aka I do not.**

**Reviews will be read and enjoyed. Criticism will be used to help my story. Flames will be frozen with my cold lack of regard.**

Chapter II- Bolsters

It was morning when Princess Fiona awoke. She yawned lightly and rolled over to hug her husband, Shrek. The hug lasted a little bit longer than a slight squeeze and then the annoyed ogress lightly slapped her stiff unresponsive husband.

"Shrek! You should be awake by now!" She said sleepily, hitting him with her pillow. The large bump under the covers did not move. "Did you die in your sleep?" Fiona teased hitting him again with her pillow.

"Fiona. I am over here." Fiona looked up from the bed and saw her husband standing by the window.

"What? I mean…how did you?" Fiona looked back down at what she had supposed was Shrek's body and sighed. The new bolster that Donkey had given Shrek for his birthday had somehow been positioned in Shrek's place.

"I went to get you a surprise last night. I wanted you to think I was still there."

At the mention of a surprise, Fiona forgot about the bolster and climbed out of the bed.

"Oh! What did you get me?"

Shrek laughed at the excited expression on his wife's face.

"It is a secret. I will tell you later." Fiona frowned but a promise was better than a denial or a refusal.

"Fine, keep your secrets." She whispered pulling the bolster out from under the covers to hit him with. Shrek caught the over stuffed pillow as it flew through the air and turned it around.

Fiona gasped as he pointed to the huge slash across its side.

King Harold hummed as he pulled his pants on. He felt so wonderful that morning that even something so mundane as dressing had a glorious feel to it.

"My, aren't we happy this morning!" Exclaimed Queen Lillian, his wife. She was sitting at her desk, writing a letter and looking at him every few seconds over her glasses.

"Lillian, dear. I feel so wonderful today. I could float!"

"By the amount of food you eat, I would never believe it." Lillian murmured under her breath.

Harold was too busy with his shoes to hear her.

"Shall we do something special together, today?" Harold asked suddenly. Lillian frowned. Something was wrong with her husband. He had not acted like an energetic teenager since… well… he had been a teenager.

"Darling, what would we do?"

"Horse back riding! Bowling! Theater! Joust!" Harold stopped only with his suggestions when he heard his wife's quill drop. He turned to find her staring at him with eyes as big…as well…bowling balls. She had gone quite pale and her eyes looked blank. Rushing over to her, Harold took her delicate hands in his.

"Lillian, what is wrong!" He soothed rubbing her hands between his. Her hands were ice cold from the early morning cold and Harold hastily went over to the balcony and shut it. Instantly the room lost some of its chill. Retaking his kneel by his wife's chair, the king looked up at her.

"You didn't!" she breathed. Harold froze. Had his wife figured out the reason for his extreme joy? Dread, needless to say, was minor compared to the emotions that rushed through the petrified and terrified monarch.


	3. Dragon Scales and Unicorn Horns

**A/N- it is my hope that you have read my first two chapters and enjoyed them. I realize that each of these chapters are short, but… I am a busy person and I try to get a chapter in between classes. As usual… Edgar Allen Poe wrote **_**Tell Tale Heart**_** and DreamWorks Pictures owns Shrek. Believe me! If I owned it, the movies would have been so much better! **

**Oh and thank you to my only reviewer! Eiko Lillian Carol Fabool! (your name is fantastic by the way...)**

**Chapter 3- Dragon Scales and Unicorn Horns**

Shrek traced his pudgy green finger across the cut. The knife had been extremely sharp; cutting though both sides of the bolster and even making a hole in the bed. Fiona and Shrek exchanged glances.

"Who would want to kill you?" Fiona asked softly. "If you hadn't gone out last night…" She trailed off not wanting to say out loud what would have happened.

Shrek nodded. His mouth was set in a straight line as he stared at the bolster and the bed.

The door burst open startling both ogres and Donkey entered followed by a soaking-wet Puss-in-Boots. Both looked slightly sad.

"What you doing up, Shrek!" Donkey asked loudly, plopping himself down on the floor. Puss hissed as Donkey's hoof stepped on his tail.

"Yeah, boss." Puss joined. He cast a wary look at Donkey before climbing into the bed and lying down on his back.

"Fiona and I were just playing around when…" Puss shrieked as he saw the jagged cut in the bolster Fiona had and the stabbed mattress.

"What you screaming about?" Donkey asked trotting over to the bed. "Ah!" he screamed. "Shrek, I told you not to eat before you went to bed!"

Fiona giggled over Donkey's misinterpretation of the scene and Shrek rolled his eyes.

"I didn't do it, Donkey!"

"This was a knife." Puss said, his green eyes lighting up with suspicion.

"Exactly." Shrek threw the blankets further back and lifted the sheet. Sure enough, the cut went deep into the thick mattress.

"Sure it wasn't a sword?" Donkey murmured, seeing the cut.

"No, boss. This was a special knife. A hardened blade to do this much damage." Countered Puss, darkly. "There are only two knives I know of that would do this."

Fiona climbed out of the bed.

"What kind?" Shrek asked, his eyes glued to the mattress.

"A dragon scale blade and a unicorn horn blade. But there are no unicorn blades in the entire kingdom."

"Dragon scale?" Donkey said, skeptically. "What's that look like?"

"Donkey! You are married to one! How could you not know what dragon scales look like?" Fiona asked exasperated.

"It is a silvery color and is about so long." Puss said. He measured a blade about the length of his forearm.

"Who has a dragon scale blade?" Shrek inquired, digging into possible suspects. Puss thought for a moment then shrugged his small shoulders.

"I do not know, boss." He set his hat back on his head. "But I shall endeavor to find out. Come, donkey." And the two animals (respectfully) hurriedly left the room.

* * *

King Harold held his breath; waiting for the inevitable. His wife slowly took a breath.

"You finally sold Duloc." She said softly. Harold almost passed out with relief. Duloc had been given to Far Far Away after a certain dragon had digested Lord Farquad. The people had been so glad to finally be rid of their tyrant "king" that they had given the city away and moved back to their old towns and cities. However the city was of no use to Far Far Away due to its large supply of Lord Farquad miniatures and Harold had been trying to find a buyer since the day he had been given it.

"Yes." He lied. "And now we must celebrate." Lillian sighed and returned to her letter.

"Harold!" she warned as he began to dance across the floor.

"Yes, my dear?"

"Who bought it?" Harold froze in mid step.

"Well…um…the King Edgar of Somewhere In Between." He sighed as she nodded. Only the letter sitting by his wife's elbow had saved him. Its return address was Somewhere In Between.

"When did you speak with Edgar?" Lillian asked, referring to the King of Somewhere In Between.

Harold sighed. With all these questions he was bound to make a fatal mistake.

"Over a few letters, dear."

"Which letters?" Lillian looked up from the desk. Her eyebrows were raised and she had already placed her quill, which she had picked up from the floor, on the desk. The king swallowed at the inquisitive glare she was giving him. Sure enough, there were no letters; he had not sent any.

"Darling…" Harold checked himself. She had him. He had no more excuses and he had already lied twice, no three times. But somewhere in the midst of his desperation, a little voice that all guilty ones have, stated what he must do.

Lillian rose from the chair and approached her husband who was looking guiltily red.

She went to speak, but his plan went into action before she could even open her mouth.

The desperate king pulled his over-curious queen into a tight embrace and kissed her for all he was worth.


	4. Somewhere In Between

**A/N- I trust that you enjoyed the last three chapters and that you are already appreciating the humor amid the serious parts (ha ha! That's a laugh) As usual I do not own Shrek or the **_**Tell Tale Heart**_**. I even named one of my characters (the king of Somewhere In Between) after Edgar Allen Poe. Please review and/or comment. I so enjoy reading messages.**

Chapter 4- Somewhere in Between

Donkey and Puss-in-boots hurried down the hallway. Puss turned the corner and halted while Donkey, being the insufferable mammal that he is, missed the memo and ploughed into him. Several moments later after both Donkey and Puss where finally standing once more, Puss pointed to the button on the floor, which had been the source of his halting in the first place.

It was a silvery button from a man's shirt. Puss immediately knew that it was King Harold's from the unique design on its front.

"Hey, you found the king's button. Now that is real nice, Puss." Donkey said peering at the button over Puss's shoulder.

"I shall return it to him." Puss said happily. "On my honor I swore I would serve Far Far Away."

Donkey snorted.

"Yeah, like returning the button is gonna get you honor." Puss growled at him. "Fine. Just give it back and we'll start looking for the dragon scale sword."

"Knife." Puss corrected leading them toward the king and queen's bedchamber.

"What did I say?" Donkey whined. Puss said nothing as he reached up to knock on the thick double doors. The small noise his paw made hitting against the wood did nothing to bring the king to the door.

"We ain't got time for this!" Donkey brayed loudly kicking the door. However it opened when he kicked it and both were exposed to the scene inside the bedchamber.

Donkey's mouth hit the floor and Puss's eyes became bigger than ever. Standing but a few meters away, kissing each other passionately (or at least King Harold was kissing Queen Lillian passionately) was the king and queen.

* * *

Harold had just began the kiss that he hoped would take away his problem when he heard the bedroom door slam open and saw out of the corner of his eye, Donkey and Puss-in-boots enter. His options were nigh on to none and the stakes were high. He could a) drop his wife and shove the animals out of the room, b) continue kissing her until the animals got the hint or c) stop the kiss and invite the animals in. Needless to say, Harold did not like any of his options.

Donkey would have this incident being retold everywhere in the kingdom by nightfall. But if he was invited in and told to be quiet, there was a greater chance of him being so. Still, Harold's wife would demand a reason for him kissing her like an impassioned love struck idiot and then he did not want Donkey and Puss there to witness her wraith. Neither did he want even the slightest reason for Puss to search the bedchamber.

Suddenly he felt himself be pushed back and Queen Lillian pulled away from him. Harold glanced toward the door and was relieved to see it closed again. Maybe he had imagined seeing the two creatures there.

"Harold?" His wife questioned, she cheeks flushed. "Why are you acting so odd?" Harold snapped. This was not what he had hoped would be the reaction from the kiss.

"Odd?" He shouted, causing his wife to cringe. "I am not acting odd. It is odd to kiss my wife, odd to be happy?" Harold was shouting now from the guilt and fear he felt of being discovered.

"I smile and you ask me what happened! I want to do something with you and you ask me what I did! I even kiss you and you tell me I am going insane!" He wiped a bit of foam from his lip and took a deep breath. "Maybe you need to ask yourself why you are so _~blank~_ considerate!"

It was not until the last word had left his mouth, that King Harold realized his big mistake. Never in all the years that they had been married, had he ever swore at her. He had never even raised his voice at her. Sure sometimes he had yelled in her presence but always about something or someone else.

With a strangled cry, Lillian rushed from the room and Harold was left alone with nothing but so much guilt that he could not even feel alone.


End file.
